Is it OK to Want to Lose Weight

Diet Culture and intentional weight loss have a bad rap for a reason. But is it ever ok to want to lose weight?

Hi, my name is Gem, and I’m a reformed dieter.

I’ve done pretty much all of them. I’ve counted calories, points, carbs and macros. I’ve made vats of cabbage soup, survived on milkshakes and purchased vials of excitingly scientific-looking “detox drinks” before giving up after a few hours and going to my Mum’s for a proper dinner.

But then I learned better. I earned a nutrition diploma, qualified as a Personal Trainer, and read a lot, and gradually, I learned to be comfortable in my skin. I learned that “losing weight” was bloody stupid anyway, because once I started lifting weights I weighed more than I did before, but I was wearing smaller clothes, go figure! I learned that there were better things to focus on if health was really your goal, and I learned that no matter how much weight I lost, I would never look like a Super Model because I am 5’4” and curvy, and genetics plays more of part in your body size than you think.

Like most of the world, I put on a few kg over the pandemic, and apart from a couple of wibbles when clothes didn’t fit, I was ok with that, too. I really was. Bodies change and they reflect what is going on in your life.

Then I got cancer.

I comfort ate, I got put on steroids, I had pain and fatigue that meant I wasn’t active, and I gained 20kg (3 stone) in 3 months. Suddenly, I wasn’t ok with it. I really tried. Academically, I knew this was another example of what I’d always said. Bodies change; they reflect where you are in your life, and I was in my incurable cancer era.

But I didn’t want to be.

I didn’t recognise the person in the mirror, and it just felt like another bit of my life that was out of control.

I’ve spent a lot of time convincing people that they don’t need to focus on weight loss, asking them to find their “why.” I've reminded people who say they’ve been “bad” that food has no moral value. I've asked people if they would rather be a size 10 or make memories with friends and family. I reminded them that if diets worked, a lot of companies would be out of business really soon.

And I absolutely, whole-heartedly believe all of this. More than 100% if that was mathematically possible.

And I’ve tried to apply it to myself and my own situation because I felt like a fraud wanting to be smaller. I’ve focused on getting active again, eating better and building strength because, after cancer treatment, those were goals that made sense. I gave my ENTIRE pre-cancer wardrobe to charity (With a couple of emotional exceptions), and I refused to focus on weight loss as a goal when there were more important things to do and memories to make.

And here we are. 2 and a half years out of Stem Cell Transplant. The steroid bloat has gone. I’ve changed shape, got my waist back, and naturally dropped about 5kg (11lb). I’ve got more active and eaten better, but I’m still 2 dress sizes bigger. I still don’t recognise the woman in the mirror or the photos, and I hate feeling constantly like I’m now “cancer Gem”.

And so I ask myself.

Is there ever a valid reason to pursue intentional weight loss?

I’m anti-diet, but also very pro-bodily autonomy. All I ever want people to do is put things in perspective. One doughnut won’t ruin your life. If you’ve been wearing pretty much the same dress size since you were 17, despite being constantly on some kind of diet, then is it really worth continually chasing making yourself smaller? Are there better ways you could spend that time and mental energy?